You never know what you're gonna get...

They get sneakier and sneakier all the time.

Today I'm getting ready to run out the door, and while I'm tying my shoes, I'm watching a segment of the afternoon version of "Who Wants to be a Millionaire." Suddenly a question flashes on the screen... "Because it's meaning changes over time, what U.S. manuscript has been called a living breathing document."

There were 4 answers; the so-called correct answer was the United States Constitution.

Pardon me?!?! But at what point did even the premise of the question become a fact? Must less the answer?? What group has universally decided that the "meaning of the words" in the US Constitution change over time?

Apparently Al Gore and these TV script/question writers have decided that is the case, but I know a hell of a lot of people who beg to differ. The folks in MY camp subscribe to the standard that the Constitution was written by men who meant it to say what it says. End of story.

Certainly we have a Supreme Court who, over the course of time, has made it their job to interpret the Constitution. But other than Al Gore and liberals like him, the MEANING doesn't change over time. Applications, interpretations, maybe ... but NOT the meaning.

So kiddies, if you want to learn about your history, stay away from Who Wants to be a Millionaire. Cuz, apparently, Forrest Gump is writing the questions now.

By the way, have you ever noticed how Al Gore sounds a whole lot like Forrest Gump?

I really think Al Gore-ump would get his point across better if he adopted something like the following as his mantra.

"The Constitution is like a box of chocolates. You never know what your gonna get."

It's good to finally know the truth!

Well, now that the Da Vinci Code has blown the lid off the church, I think we should look at other movies that have questioned our most dearly held beliefs.

Personally, I've always thought that the Holy Grail was pretty much legend or lost to history. But now that I can trust novelists and the movies to teach me history, I'm pretty sure Indiana Jones was a real person and he DID, in fact, find the cup of Christ. I mean all the details are there. There was a secret Brotherhood of the Cruciform Sword who had been guarding the secret of the cup for centuries. The tomb of one of the 3 brother knights guarding the cup was found and has secret clues to the hidden location. And we saw proof of those clues when Indiana Jones found the last brother living because he had sustained from the cup all these years.

I mean how can it get any plainer than that?

So when it comes to the Da Vinci Code, obviously, those wacky Christians have been hiding the truth all these years and didn't see fit to add the Gnostic Gospels to the canonized books of the New Testament because they want to suppress the truth. Never mind that the Gnostic Gospels are written some 200 years after the time of Christ. I mean, if you want to know the truth about George Washington, would you want to read the accounts of his life that were written by his contemporaries, or would you more likely trust the accounts of his life written up by people alive today? And we can be certain that the Priory of Sion is legit because we have the documented letters of incorporation for that organization dated in 1956 by the goofball who founded the group. Who also, by the way, forged some documents which he hid and later discovered which proved he was the descendant of Christ and thus, the true King of France. Never mind that he confessed it was all a hoax on his death bed. I mean, it's all starting to make sense now.

And heck, we know that Opie and Forrest Gump are too honest to lie to us. They MUST be giving us the straight truth.

Oh, by the way, just the same as when you see it in the movies, if you see it on TV, it's also always true. I mean, for all these years, we thought Gilligan's Island was just a sit com. Who knew it was real?